Why Is Sleep Training Not Working?

Sleep training can improve the health of the entire family–yielding 10-12 hours of restorative sleep for babies, and powerful rejuvenation for parents. Studies show physical, emotional, and cognitive benefits for babies after sleep training, as well as improved mental and physical health of parents. Families that enjoy a predictable schedule and long nights of independent sleep for their babies understand its power. 

But the actual process of sleep training can be stressful for some families. There are several reasons parents experience stalls or failure when sleep training.

1. Mixing Methods

There are many different methods of sleep training with various pros and cons. And it’s not a one-size-fits-all: You can succeed using just about any sleep training method. However, oftentimes parents apply only parts of different programs, and they combine techniques from various YouTube videos, books, Tik Tok videos, and articles. They attempt to put parts of different strategies together and basically create their own program! But without the expertise to create a comprehensive sleep training program, parents’ efforts are often in vain. Merging different methods is usually unsuccessful. It is most effective to choose one proven, safety-approved plan and stick with it to completion. When parents do this, it is only a matter of time before they see improvement in their baby’s sleeping habits.

2. Inconsistency

Whichever method you choose, commit to following every step consistently, and you will eventually succeed. When parents choose a method, they should stick with it until their baby adopts the new habits. If it takes a baby 3-7 days to form a new habit, and the parent determines that the plan does not work after two days, she is not likely to succeed. If parents only use the process sometimes, but they're inconsistent with how they respond to their baby, the baby is receiving mixed messages and is not likely to learn quickly. Inconsistency can thwart or prolong the process. Be patient, stay consistent with the method you choose, and your chances of success are much greater. Sleep training is a very short-term sacrifice considering the long-term benefits of a healthy sleep foundation.

3. Sleep Environment

If your baby is not making progress within the expected timeframe of the method you chose, first evaluate your baby's sleep environment. It is much harder to self-soothe if you are uncomfortable. Is your baby too hot? Is she too cold? Babies sleep best in 68-72 degrees, and it is better too cool than too hot. Is your baby wearing fabric that is scratchy or itchy against his skin? Is your infant dressed in too many layers? Is the room dark enough and quiet enough to lull him back to sleep between his sleep cycles? Evaluate your baby's comfort in her sleep environment before continuing.

4. Health

Sleep training should never be done while a baby is sick–that includes a common cold, the flu, an ear infection, or anything of the sort. If babies are uncomfortable due to sickness, severe eczema, infection, acid reflux, constipation–you name it–it can be hard for them to sleep well. If you suspect that your baby is uncomfortable, talk to your pediatrician and address the discomfort before attempting the sleep training process. There are also medical conditions or even certain kinds of allergies that can disrupt sleep. Check with your pediatrician to verify if your baby has a medical condition that causes difficulty sleeping. 

5. Hunger

Babies under a year old need at least 24-32 ounces of milk in a 24-hour period. Parents should feed their babies on a schedule that is age-appropriate, which allows them to eat the right amounts at strategic times in order to sleep well during the night. Quality sleep training programs should include an age-appropriate feeding plan.

Infants that are over a year old should also be well-fed and with lots of protein and fats in their diet. They should eat a hearty breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as well as snacks, and maybe a little milk before bedtime. You want your baby's belly full for a full night's sleep!

6. Lack of Support

Sleep training can be emotionally taxing, especially if the parent is doing it alone or if one or both parents are exhausted. Many parents start sleep training but do not finish because they became discouraged before the end. They could have encountered a problem they didn’t know how to overcome, or they could have become so exhausted emotionally and physically that they lost the will to try. Parents who are struggling with sleep training should hire an expert to help them diagnose the problem, provide a clear and feasible solution, and keep them encouraged until completion. This support is the difference between success and failure for many families.

What Next?

Parents who have gotten stuck or who don’t know where to start with sleep training should read a book, choose an online program, or hire a baby sleep consultant to take the guesswork out of it. Choose one method and stick with it to completion. The health of your baby and your entire family is certainly worth the short-term sacrifice. You and your baby deserve long, restorative nights of sleep.