What to Do When You’re Exhausted and Baby Still Won’t Sleep

Being bone-tired while your baby keeps waking is one of parenting’s cruellest paradoxes — and it’s common. International studies estimate that about 20–30% of infants and toddlers have problematic sleep (frequent night wakings, long wake windows, irregular bedtimes), so you are far from alone.¹

Safety First

First, prioritize safety. Before trying any soothing strategy, make sure your baby’s sleep environment follows the American Academy of Pediatrics’ safe-sleep guidance: back to sleep (baby sleeping on his/her back), a firm crib mattress, no loose bedding or soft objects, and room-sharing (not bed-sharing) for the first 6 months if possible. These steps reduce the risk of sleep-related infant death and are non-negotiable when everyone is exhausted.²

Next: immediate triage for you. If you’re dangerously sleep-deprived (microsleeps, confusion, or trouble functioning), get help now. Ask a partner, friend, or family member to take a night feed or a few hours so you can nap. If no one is available, consider calling a local postpartum support line, hiring a postpartum doula, or consulting your health care provider for urgent help. Caregivers’ safety matters for the whole family.

Short-term Strategies:

• Micro-rest: Nap when the baby naps — even 20–40 minutes of sleep can improve alertness.
  
  

• Lower the stakes: Temporarily simplify routines (safely swaddle if age-appropriate, reduce stimulation at night, use white noise) so fewer wakeups escalate into long struggles.
  
  

• Cluster care: Combine feeds, diaper changes and soothing so your baby has longer consolidated sleep windows.
  
  

Proven Sleep Interventions

If the struggle is chronic, evidence shows that structured behavioral sleep interventions (consistent bedtime routines, graduated extinction or “controlled comforting,” and responding predictably to night wakings) can significantly improve infant sleep and parental sleep and mood without long-term harm. Systematic reviews and randomized trials report measurable benefits for many families.³ 

Families can experience breakthrough in their baby’s sleep patterns in as little as three to seven nights with expert guidance, using affordable baby sleep programs or consultation from baby sleep experts. These strategies are comprehensive, including feeding advice, sleep environment guidelines, bedtime routines, and self-soothing techniques.

Work with a certified sleep consultant to design a plan that fits your baby’s age and health and your family values. If your baby has any health conditions that interrupt sleep, consult your pediatrician first.

Postpartum Health

Don’t forget postpartum health. A large body of research finds that many postpartum parents experience poor sleep quality and fatigue — roughly half in pooled analyses — and that ongoing sleep loss is linked to mood disorders and reduced coping. If you’re feeling persistently hopeless, overwhelmed, or unable to function, contact your healthcare provider: treatment for postpartum depression and fatigue can be lifesaving and improves sleep outcomes for both parent and baby.⁴

You don’t need to tough it out alone. Safety first, short naps for you, consistent routines for the baby, evidence-based behavioral steps when needed, and professional support for persistent problems — that four-part approach will get you from exhausted to functional, one small sleep at a time.

References

1. Mindell, J.A., & Williamson, A.A. (2018). Benefits of a bedtime routine in young children: Sleep, development, and beyond. Sleep Medicine Reviews, 40, 93–108.
   
   

2. American Academy of Pediatrics Task Force on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. (2022). Sleep-related infant deaths: Updated 2022 recommendations for reducing infant deaths in the sleep environment. Pediatrics, 150(1).
   
   

3. Gradisar, M., et al. (2016). Behavioral interventions for infant sleep problems: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Sleep Medicine, 20, 1–9.
   
   

4. Lawson, A., et al. (2015). The relationship between maternal and infant sleep during the first year postpartum: A systematic review. Sleep Medicine Reviews, 20, 27–39.